How many emos does it take to microwave a mama’s burrito?

Answer: 4.

One to cry about it on LiveJournal.

One to make a Facebook about it.

One to take a picture of them taking a picture of themselves in a mirror and ...Read More

Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own ...Read More

There once were two Irishmen, named Shawn and Pat, who were the best of friends. During one particular night of revelry, the two agreed that when one passed on, the other would take and spill the contents of a bottle of ...Read More

A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.

On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years together. He ...Read More

Q: What do owls sing when it is raining?
A: 'Too wet to woo'!

Q: What do baby swans dance to?
A: Cygnet-ure-tunes!

Q: What birds spend all their time on their knees?
A: Birds of prey!

Q: What did they ...Read More

Amy shows off her custom fabrics and her stupid godmother tricks. (From "Late Show," air date: 2/6/13)