Dear Healthy Men: Do men’s and women’s mental health issues and needs differ? And if so, how?

A: With May being Mental Health Awareness Month, this question couldn’t be more topical. And while this is a crucial time to shine a spotlight on everyone’s mental health, its especially important to recognize the unique challenges that boys and men face.

The Stigma Starts Early

In our society, we teach boys, from a young age, to "man up," suppress their emotions, and to see vulnerability and asking for help as a weakness. This conditioning has created a significant (and largely ignored) mental health crisis among boys and men, too many of whom have internalized these negative messages. Fearing judgment or ridicule from their friends, family or colleagues, and believing that their struggles will be seen as a sign of inadequacy, they rarely ask for the help they desperately need. This needs to change.

Devastating Impact

The consequences of this stigma are profound. Men are, on average, four times more likely than women to die by suicide, and more than twice as likely to die from “diseases of despair” such as alcohol or drug overdoses. And they too often suffer in silence with depression and anxiety. These conditions tend to manifest differently in men than in women. While women may express sadness, men are more likely to exhibit anger, irritability, risk-taking behavior, social self-isolation or substance abuse. When mental health professionals misdiagnose typical male symptoms, the underlying mental health issues remain untreated. As a result, boys’ and men’s struggles with mental health often lead to relationship problems, difficulties at work, physical health issues and, most tragically, suicide.

Redefining Strength

True strength lies not in suppressing emotions, but in acknowledging them, understanding them, and seeking healthy ways to cope. It takes tremendous courage—particularly in our society—to recognize the need for help and to ask for it. We must create a culture where men and boys feel safe and supported when they express their emotions and where they know they won’t be judged or ridiculed.

Moving Forward: What We Can Do

Here are some steps each of us can take to break through the stigma and support men’s and boys' mental health:

Talk: Encourage open and honest conversations about mental health. Let the men and boys in your life know that it's OK to not be OK, and that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Educate: Learn about the signs and symptoms of mental health conditions in men and boys. The National Institute of Mental Health has an excellent overview at https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/men-and-mental-health

Advocate. Lobby your local, state and federal representatives to support increased access to affordable and culturally sensitive mental health services for men and boys.

Lead: Men who have struggled with mental health and sought help can share their stories to inspire others and reduce stigma.

Ask: Make it a habit to check in with the boys and men in your life, not just when they seem to be struggling, but regularly. Don’t take “fine” for an answer. Ask how they’re really doing.

Listen: When a man opens up, avoid offering unsolicited advice. Simply listen, offer support, and never judge.

Promote: Encourage healthy lifestyle choices, such as regular exercise, a balanced diet and adequate sleep, all of which have a significant impact on mental health.

Be the Change

This Mental Health Awareness Month (and every other month of the year), let's commit to changing the narrative around men's mental health. We can create a world where men feel empowered to prioritize their mental well-being, seek help when they need it, and live full and healthy lives. It's time to break the silence and let every man know that he’s not alone.

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