What’s the right response to someone like this?
From the writings of the Rev. Billy Graham
Q: I have a cousin who calls me weekly with a new problem – always a people problem – and whatever the case, the other person is the one at fault, never her. When I try to give some advice, she tells me I’d understand if I walked in her shoes. What’s the right response to someone like this? It’s exhausting. – G.L.
A: When we’re hurting, we value a listening ear. But when someone else is hurting, we’re often tempted to do anything but listen – chattering away and giving unwanted advice to them instead of letting them share their burden with us. Sometimes the best thing we can do is listen quietly when others express problems, letting them share their feelings and assuring them that we care, even if we don’t have any answers.
In the midst of his suffering, Job cried out to those who were constantly giving him advice, “If only you would be altogether silent!” (Job 13:5, NIV).
One thing we can do that often soothes a troubled heart is when we ask if we can pray for the person carrying heavy burdens. When a person hears their name called out in prayer, many times it brings a calm; it can redirect attention to God Himself. There aren’t many who reject a prayer on their behalf.
Another way to talk with others experiencing trouble is to end a conversation with a thought from Scripture. We can always offer a word of encouragement and assurance of continued prayer. And when we do pray for them, we can ask the Lord to bring those words from the Bible to their minds at various times of the day and night. God can work in unexpected ways to bring good out of bad. When our family and friends are hurting, we can ask God to help us be encouragers by pointing them to Jesus.
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(This column is based on the words and writings of the late Rev. Billy Graham.)
©2025 Billy Graham Literary Trust. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
(c)2025 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.
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