Busy Mother Wants To Spend More Time With Kids
Q: I'm a married mom, maintaining a household while working full-time. With everything required in each of those roles, how can I find quality time to spend with my children? It seems like there aren't enough hours in the day.
Jim: You might start by honestly asking yourself a few simple questions. Are you working to provide for basic needs, or does your income mostly go toward paying for "extras" that you could skip to have more time with your children? Are there any aspects of "maintaining a household" that you can afford to sacrifice?
It's not always possible to plan meaningful interactions between a parent and a child. Those moments can't be cooked up and crammed into a few minutes of "quality time" every day. Many opportunities might catch you off-guard and will be gone in the blink of an eye. You can't seize the moment if you're not there to do the seizing. And that means spending lots of "quantity" time together with your kids.
One of the easiest ways to connect as a family is to just turn off the screens. A study a few years back showed that the average amount of time that both parents combined spend in meaningful conversation with their child is 39 minutes total per week. You can do the math compared to your family's screen usage. So, turn off the tech and read to/with them, play board games together, take a walk, or just talk while doing chores.
Some parents feel pressure to sign their children up for numerous sports teams, music and dance lessons, social clubs and all kinds of community organizations. Don't fall prey to this mindset. Kids don't need a dozen different weekly activities. They need quality and quantity time with loving, involved and committed parents.
Q: I looked forward to being married after years of being single. I thought I would finally be happy -- that's what marriage is all about, right? So why isn't it working? Why don't I feel happy about being married?
Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: We've all heard: "... and they lived happily ever after." That's the stuff of fairy tales and the hope of every couple standing at a wedding altar. But I don't think it's wise to make happiness the primary goal of marriage. In fact, I think it's unrealistic.
Here's the problem. Happiness is a fickle emotion -- it comes and goes with nearly every change of our circumstances. When good things happen, we're happy; when bad things happen, we're not. And there's one thing you can count on: Your spouse (or any other human) cannot make you happy all the time. No matter how hard they try, they'll disappoint you on occasion. And you'll disappoint them.
There's also a deeper issue to consider: Making my own happiness the primary goal for marriage indicates that I'm in the relationship for me -- for what I can get out of it. Simply put, seeking to gratify yourself at the expense of your spouse will destroy a relationship.
Now, I'm not suggesting we shouldn't want to be happy in marriage. We certainly can be happy ... but that shouldn't be our primary goal. True happiness comes from a deep commitment to place the needs of your spouse above your own.
With all that said, in order to sacrificially serve your mate, you need to ensure you have something to give. So, seek a balance with things that recharge you and allow you to love your spouse from a store of abundance. When a husband and wife devote themselves to each other in this way, they'll truly live happily ever after.
For more tips and tools, see FocusOnTheFamily.com.
========
Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.
Copyright 2026 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.








Comments